Reflections in the Clouds ~ by Jeannine

Reflections in the Clouds…

I am a “cloud watcher”.  I have endless memories of contemplating the vast sky and all that it offered me.  From a tree swing in the backyard, I would lean so far back to look up through the beautiful branches, it appeared I would flip right over.  As I grew up, I would watch the clouds during road trips and, once I started driving myself, I would contemplate its beauty as I drove the back roads of the Illinois flatlands, alone.  In almost every one of my memories of contemplating the sky and all of its offerings, I was alone.

Being alone is a strange concept since I grew up in a large family – complete with multiple pets.  Even after the age of seven, I had multiple places to call “home” and as the family grew through marriage and nieces and nephews, I still was often alone.  I never understood why I was alone so much.  I still will ponder that sometimes.  I now know to be thankful for those times when I felt alone.  That time taught me some things I would not have learned otherwise.  This idea of loneliness is one many of us can understand and feel deeply about.

While I was on a specific outing, driving from Oregon to Rochelle as I often did at 16 to help my eldest sister and her new family, I was caught in a storm.  A big crazy storm.  I was frightened and my knuckles were as white as snow, and stiff as wood, as they held onto the steering wheel with all of their strength.  When I was about 5 miles from home, passing a familiar cemetery, I found myself crying.  I was crying out loud.  I was asking God why no one loved me.  Now, let’s be fair, I know and knew people loved me, I just didn’t feel loved. I didn’t feel as though I was valued as I was.  I didn’t feel like I was good enough to be loved unconditionally.  I was crying during this storm – it was a storm in the physical realm, and it was an emotional and spiritual storm within my heart.  I was calling out to God.  I did not know how to pray very well. I did not know if God cared anything about me if I am honest.  But, I also knew that He was supposed to care from what I had heard folks say when I was little. Can you see it all, a broken, lonely, overweight and under loved young lady out there on her own – after pouring all she had into someone else’s dreams and family – do you see her?

God did. As the storm broke, with my eyes searching the clouds as usual, the most beautiful rainbow appeared.  It wasn’t your standard Florida afternoon rainbow. (Not that any rainbow should ever be looked on as “standard”).  This one was a huge, bright Illinois farmland one and had two beautiful full arches with the whole spectrum of colors shining through.  This rainbow was MINE. This was His answer to me that day. His offering of hope to me.  He had created me with the wonder of the sky.  He knew where I would be looking for my comfort. It was there.  Just where God promised His people all of those years ago.

Gen 9:13-9:17 “I set my rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in cloud; and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” And God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth.”

I felt love in that moment.  It was as if God stopped the whole world and gave me a gift of love that day.  I went on with “life” and continued working, going to school, babysitting, and trying to navigate through the winding roads of my little world for several years.  I never let that moment leave me though. It kept me hopeful.  That one moment searching out the sky on a very stormy evening, left me hopeful and had stirred up a feeling of safety like nothing else ever had.

Fast forward many years – I am now a happily married adult with two amazing adult children.  I have learned so much about God’s love for me – for us.  I have learned of His trustworthiness – His Faithfulness.  I have not stopped searching the clouds though. Thankfully, He hasn’t stopped speaking to me through those clouds either.  About a month ago, I was driving the long boring road from Jacksonville, FL to Tallahassee, FL.  It is about two and a half hours of nothing; so, plenty of time for my sky watching.  I must have been feeling down or lonely, because God spoke to my heart in such a special way.  I had to drive through a severe afternoon thunderstorm on the way.  I had the same white knuckles I had when I was 16, this time however, I knew I wasn’t alone. I knew I was loved and cared for in a special way by my Heavenly Father.  As I drove away from the storm, I did what I had learned to do subconsciously through the years – I looked back at the storm.  We do not see the rainbow while looking at the clear, sunny side – we have to look towards the storm cloud to see the rainbow. I never put much thought into that or the purpose of it in God’s creation of the rainbow – I just knew it to be true. So, sure enough as I looked at my rearview mirror, there it was. The Promise. The living, loving, steadfast, faithful promise from my Savior shining brightly for me to receive.  The following thought was quickened in my spirit “The reflection of My (The Lord’s) character is in the storm.”  Do you see that? Do you follow what The Lord spoke directly to my heart? It was so fast – like a lightning rod into my soul.  To us it is a storm – it is not easy.  It is often dark and scary in the storms of our lives, but His character is revealed to us in those times.  Yes – the “sun”/Son is in front of us in the sunshine and clear skies, but the character of His goodness and the compassion of His heart is reflected in the clouds.  Friends, draw near to Him every day – but, in the times when the storm clouds are upon you, as you come out, you will see it – the Promise. It is His Reflection in the Clouds and it is all ours.

2 Sam 22:29 “For you are my lamp, O LORD; The LORD shall enlighten my darkness.

 

Additional recommendations for independent study – You will see God show up in the darkness and the lonely times – either due to un-repented sin or through no actions of their own:

• Jacob hiding after stealing his brother’s birthright and deceiving his dying father.
• Joseph found himself in darkness, in the pit/well and the Prison.
• Daniel found himself in the darkness – in the lions’ den.
• John was in darkness on Patmos.
• David found himself in darkness as Saul sought to kill him – and many other times.