Ten ~ by Christina

Ten ~ by Christina

Here are 10 Reasons that 10 is so important

  1. Ten is the highest score possible in Olympic competitions.
  2. A woman’s total height is approximately 10 times the length of her hand.
  3. Crabs have 10 legs
  4. The Prime Minister lives at No.10 Downing Street
  5. The Ten Commandments are crucial to Judaism and Christianity
  6. Number ten symbolizes the completion of a cycle.
  7. 10 seconds determines a ‘knockout’ in boxing
  8. Capricorn is the tenth astrological sign in the Zodiac. (December 21st – January 20th) & covers Christmas
  9. Ten is the very first number that uses 2 digits
  10. Ten is the base of the decimal numeral system, by far the most common system of denoting numbers in both spoken and written language. The reason for the choice of ten is assumed to be that humans have ten fingers (digits).


These are not really the reasons “10” is so important, at least not right now.  So, why the focus on “10”?

Because I don’t know what to do with the fact that Bruce (my son) will have been physically gone for 10 years on December 1st. Every day he is in my thoughts. Grief and loss, such a bizarre journey – one that I have found doesn’t go away and can be so overwhelming at times.

So here I am thinking about why this upcoming death anniversary feels so much more difficult than I imagined. I saw a quote that said something like “you can’t stop the memories for something you didn’t expect to end”. I think that has something to do with it; the “didn’t expect” part.

We all face life events that we don’t expect (both good and bad). Those life events are forks in the road for us. The path we were on somehow ends and we end up going a different direction, and the path we were on is no longer there before us. We have no choice but to choose a new path that is now before us. I picture myself at the place where I have to pick which of the two paths to keep moving forward… and I see myself scrounged up on the ground, hands around my knees with my head tucked into my knees. Sometimes that’s exactly how I feel ~ I don’t want to choose a different path.  I want what I want and the weight of the life event knocks me off my feet and I crumble. That’s how it is for me sometimes.Thankfully, I don’t stay there, because while I am there in my weak, sad state, I also have a Savior who has me in his wings. This picture of me curling up, being protected and finding refuge is exactly the way I lay it down and give it to God. This leads me in baby steps to find strength and direction. This is how I have been able to continue to face each moment of each day.

So, ten, 10, TEN! A decade… sad sigh…

And joyful memories…all under the wings of my Savior.

We have a choice to stomp our feet, to go down a path of self-destruction; OR choose to celebrate what we have been given and follow the path under the wings of protection and refuge.  When we do pick the latter choice, we can trust God’s promise to carry us through and that we will find joy in the memories, our future, and our present. I will choose to be present and rest in God’s wings.

One Reply to “Ten ~ by Christina”

  1. Oh Christina, I do understand your pain, and thank you for sharing how you curl up and seek the protection of our loving father. I to have curled up and crawled on my hands and knees into the protection of His wings. However I sadly beat myself up again and again before I drag myself under His loving wings.
    Praying for you and your family. 🙏🏻💔

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